So, I have a few thoughts on adulthood to share.

Today during church, our youth minister made an announcement about a small group he has been working to form within the community. He said it was an open group, for anyone who is in their 20s or 30s, and that their focus was on friendship.

My mind immediately started to wonder, in a sort of spinning fashion, “Hey, I’m not in my 20s or 30s. I’m in my 40s! Hold on, when did I stop being a young adult???”

As many people do, I spent the early years of my life working towards one goal: get through school and get a college degree. That was my goal and I worked very hard to get it. I remember the day after graduation from Bethany. I had made plans to live with my sister and her family for the summer in Ohio, hoping to find a teaching job. If I close my eyes, I can be back in the front seat of her van. I can remember how bright the sun was. I remember feeling flooded by intense feelings, the loudest of which seemed to be screaming, “Now what????”

I had reached that goal after working towards it for my entire life. From there, my goals became much smaller. Over the next 20 years, I worked towards many different goals for my job, my family and my life. I was always the young person in every situation, it seemed. I was a young adult. I was starting… learning… growing and trying.

Suddenly I am not that person at all any more. I am a ‘subject matter expert.’ I am a mom. I am the training specialist. I lead Bible studies and I pay our mortgage. I juggle our finances. I make lists, buy groceries, fill out school paperwork and sign permission slips.

I’m an adult. Not a young adult… I am an adult. I am middle age, if we want to get right down to it. I will turn 45 this year. Considering most people don’t live to be 90, I am actually past the mid-point of my life.

When did this happen????

I wake up now and look in the mirror. I hardly recognize the person I see there. Where did those lines come from? The sparkling hairs are now being covered with dye because I don’t like how tired I look when I leave them alone. I used to wear make up to enhance… now I find myself wearing it to conceal.

Fortunately, my fitness journey has gotten me to a point of feeling really good. I am in much better physical shape than I have ever been. It is a shame that I did not adopt such great habits 20 years ago, but I am thankful I have them now.

I’m still thinking about my first thought, by the way. I was hoping that typing this out would help my mind to stop reeling.

When did I stop being a young adult???

I guess it really doesn’t matter when. I just know that, whenever it happened, I was completely unaware. I suppose the same thing will happen when I slip from adulthood into whatever comes after that.

Please don’t think I am sad. I am quite content in my life right now. I am blessed, as I mentioned the other day. And I am quite glad to be parenting teenagers instead of pre-schoolers, toddlers or infants. Those days were exhausting and not my favorite. So I am not sad to have made it through those years.

I guess I just didn’t pay attention to my own aging process. I think maybe that’s the way it is supposed to be. If we recognized our own aging, while it is happening, I think few of us would want to go on!

A bit late, I suppose… but to all of my fellow 40-somethings, I just want to say… “Welcome to adulthood!” It was going to happen to us, ready or not. We can’t avoid it, so we might as well embrace it.

Besides, being an adult means I get to make the rules, right? So if I want to have Cheetos for dinner or spend my day off in my pjs, I can! I am an adult, dammit!