For quite a while now, I have been struggling with horrible neck pain. I see a structural massage therapist as often as I can, which is about 2x a month. He helps a lot in the moment, but so far, nothing helps permanently. I have an at-home device he recommended, I stretch, and I try to be mindful of how I hold my head. I can’t seem to get true relief.

Last week I had Reiki, in hopes that it might help. My reiki therapist gave me new insight to my pain. I don’t remember how she said it, but basically she said that I am holding a lot of rage in my body, and that until I release it, my neck will not get better.

Woah.

Why is my body full of rage? Do I really have to explain??

The world is currently on fire. Every day is a new day of dystopian hell where queer people, especially transgender people, are being targeted. I feel so helpless. I have queer kids and can’t protect them from the world. I have queer clients and all I can do is hold space. So many people are in pain and afraid. So much intentional harm is happening, and I feel powerless to do anything about it.

I joined a gym last week in hopes of relief. I am talking more. I am trying to ask for help and I am using all of my coping skills. Journalling has been very helpful. This blog, when I remember to write it, is helpful. Connecting to people who share my rage is helpful. I have reached out to a friend about serving the queer community more. I want to make a difference where I can. I can’t let the assholes win!

Are you feelng the rage too? What are you finding helpful to cope? I really would appreciate any other ideas or suggestions. Thank you.