Not gonna lie. It sucks. Not that dating at any age is easy. It has never been for me. And as a twice-divorced person, it has not gotten any easier. In case you happen to be one of those happily married people who have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to share some of my experiences.
First, the apps. They are terrible. There is Tinder, Bumble, Match, Her, Lux, and many others. As a queer woman, I avoid the ones targeted for men/gay men. I have been on them all. There is also Facebook Dating. I’ve met quite a few people. I’ve gone on dates and even met someone I thought was a good match. Yeah, no. So I continue to try. Because I like being in a relationship. In spite of all the misses, I really do.
So once you match with someone, you start chatting. Some people are direct about what they want. It is generally sex and they don’t hesitate to say so. I actually appreciate that kind of honesty. Then there are the game plalyers who claim not to want sex. Then you meet them and they just wanted sex. Don’t get me wrong. Sex is great. But don’t play games. Seriously. It’s gross and irritating and so fucking immature.
Starting over with each person is just exhausting. Let me tell you my history. Let’s hear yours. What are you looking for? Do we have things in common? Do you live near me? Do you have time to date? Will you actually communicate more than a weekly, “miss u” ?? Yeah… currently dealing with that.
And can I talk about the cruel irony of how mis-aligned sex drive is at my age? I am post-menopause. I currently have a very high drive. (If that is tmi, sorry. just being honest!) Sadly. many men my age can’t seem to do much withiout that little blue pill. And even that is no guarantee. Ugh.
I don’t know what the answer is. I am bisexual and have gone on a few dates with women. I am open to whatever human can be the following three things:
- Emotionally available
- Curious
- Reciprocal
Am I asking for too much? It certainly feels like I am.
Rant over.
