My last blog post, over a month ago, was about how people kept touching my spinning plates. I would love to say that has changed, but it has not. And add on to the regular stress of life, we have had more health issues at home.
I don’t know about you, but when my family is sick, it adds to my stress. Especially when we have no idea what the problem is! Poor Louisa has been dealing with ever-changing symptoms for weeks.
On Friday, I was trying to deal with my regular workday when she texted to say she was in terrible pain (AGAIN) and needed to see a doctor (AGAIN). I also woke up to texts from my husband that he had combined an energy drink with caffeine pills, resulting in his co-workers calling an ambulance. He refused to leave, being him, but he was still feeling the effects.
Those two things, combined with money issues (stupid money issues), impending assignment deadlines for school, and a full caseload at my internship, led me to have a mini-meltdown. Standing at my desk, I just felt completely and totally overwhelmed.
I held it together just long enough to get to my car (because I don’t like to cry at my co-workers, God bless them) and then I sobbed.
I sobbed the whole way home. I sobbed while I worked from home. I sobbed while I cleaned my kitchen. By the time I had to take Louisa to the doctor, I was done crying. Her appointment took forever and involved all kinds of tests. Then it was to the pharmacy, then home. She was feeling slightly better, so she went to do some things.
Once back home, I managed to get a lot of work done. The beauty of a laptop and wifi, I guess! Once my work was done, I needed to just be done. I canceled the rest of my day’s activities and put on pjs.
I was done. I had nothing left in me.
Do you ever get that way?
Reading through that now, it does not seem so stressful. But in the moment, I simply couldn’t hold it together any more.
Three days later, I am feeling much better. I have some very patient friends (thanks Brendan and Dan!) to thank for that. They allowed me to text-vent at them on Friday. They allowed me to be a huge mess without judgement.
It also helped that my oldest kiddo, August, came home on Saturday. They are such a calming influence on me now that they’re 20. Love that kid.
And yesterday my two kiddos did all the grocery shopping for me so I could stay home and do homework.
If you can relate to anything I wrote, please let me know. Also, if you are currently overwhelmed, I say this: Do not be afraid to reach out and let someone know you are struggling. This too will pass, but until then, we are in this together.
