i often find myself glancing at the ‘momof3girlz’ link at the top of my web browser and feeling a pang of guilt. i am so behind in sharing my thoughts on here. i mean, i know there are not hoards of people out there whose lives are less-enriched because i didn’t ramble online for days. that’s not what makes me feel bad. it’s more because i know i feel better after i blog. i feel clearer. so it is in my own awareness of what my self needs that i feel guilty.

so here i am today to remedy that. we have had so much going on, which should surprise no one. we’ve already survived back-to-school, open house, halloween and now we are quickly approaching thanksgiving. the girls just got their first report cards of the year. i find myself torn in how to react to report cards.

let me explain…. even though i was ‘gifted’ (i suppose i still am lol) i never really pushed myself hard in school. it all seemed to come so easily (except reading, which i managed to get through). i never had to study in math. i always managed to get A’s without much effort. i was actually quite shocked to find out, at the end of my senior year in high school, that i was ranked #4 in my class. the three ahead of me were actually tied. it was at that point that it occurred to me that i really could have done better. if i had TRIED… if i had actually put more effort into studying, i just might have been #1!

i don’t live with regret about this. i went on to college where i HAD to try. i still managed to get very good grades (though i did get my first F on a test and my first C in a class!). but i now look at report cards a bit differently. how do i, as a mom, encourage my kids to try a little harder? or, how do i know they have tried? they tell me they try. but my oldest, sophia, is just like me. and she is gifted. and she got two 90% on her report card, as well as two B’s. i KNOW she could do better. i know she could get high A’s in every class. do i push her? i talked to her about it. i told her that i love her no matter what. i just want her to reach a bit harder… push her self. was that wrong?

ugh… this mom thing is hard! no one told me that before i did it (or i probably ignored them!). i love my girls, as you all know, but i worry i am not doing this job very well. i don’t want to make her worry. i don’t want her to push herself too hard and end up with migraines. i would just like to see her do that which she can, as well as she can.

all three girls did well. they all had mostly A’s. and they all seemed pretty happy with how they did. i have conferences this week with their teachers. wish me luck!