As I said in my last post, I am already braced for the anniversary of both of my parents’ death: February 9. I know that what I need most to get through that day is connection. I need to feel connected to my parents. I need to feel connected to my kids. And I need to feel connected to myself. So what does that mean?

First, connected to my parents–to me, this means a few things. First, a new tattoo in their honor. I currently have 7 tattoo that are directly or indirectly to them: their names and birthdays wound around my right arm; my dad’s quote, “It’s not that I say life is hard. Life is hard” on my right shoulder. “All becase two people fell in love 11/23/1954” on my right sternum; A red cardinal for my mom and a yellow cardinal for my dad on my left sternum (yes, I know the irony of that and I think my parents would love it!!!); Apple-Tree and a tree of life on my left shoulder; “McGrath and a claddaugh on my left wrist.” So this year, I have reached out to the amazing Chris Churchfield for an another tattoo to honor them. The plan is lose and tentative. I trust him implicitly! I asked that he do something about roots and wings, so stay tuned! I will also connect to my parents by talking to them. I do this most days, especially my mom.

Next, connected to my kids–since they are spread all over, this means Zoom! I have set up a Zoom call so that we can share stories of my parents. August will join from St. Paul, MN. Their fiancé may also join, if he is available. Louisa will join from Erie, PA. Mia will join from Oakmont, PA. And Isaiah is hoping to join. He didn’t get to meet my parents, as he joined my family as my son after they had both passed. He wants to hear the stories, though. I know my parents would have loved him and are proud that he is in our family now.

Finally, connected to myself–this one is not yet set. I have really been working on my mental health. I have been writing letters and being much more mindful of how my daily choices affect my wellbeing. I have neglected my physical health, though. Perhaps I will find a way to do something more physical that day? The current forecast for that day is 32 degrees and partly cloudy. That’s not too bad for maybe a walk? We shall see. I will also spend time praying, writing, and maybe blogging again!

I have been listening to Anderson Cooper’s podcast about grief. It’s called, “All there is with Anderson Cooper.” I highly recommend it. I find myself laughing and crying and feeling very connected. The best thing grief can do for us is connect us. I truly believe that.

If you think of it on Monday, please send some prayers/positive vibes to my family and I. My parents left both an enormous legacy and a cavernous vacancy. Adjusting to life wuthout them is a work in progress. And if you happen to have any memories of my parents, please leave them here or on Facebook. I would love to share them with my kids!