I keep seeing this image on Facebook. I can’t quite bring myself to ‘like’ it when I see it. I’m not sure why!
I want to share my first thoughts that I have about it, and maybe you guys can help me to work through them.
It might be because, as a teacher, I have encountered kids with WAY TOO MUCH self esteem, but I find the thought of being full of self esteem to be wrong. Wouldn’t that mean they have pride at a sinful level?
I certainly want my girls to know they are loved and valued. I want them to feel confident in their abilities. I want them to see themselves as beautiful children of God who are here to make this world a better place.
However, I don’t want their own self esteem to prevent them from failing. It is only through failing that we are refined and redeemed. It is only through the struggles and challenges that we become stronger and better. It is only through hard times that we learn the true value of the good times.
So that is why I am not sure I really ‘like’ that picture or the words on it.
Thoughts?
If it was self-respect would you have an issue with it then? I get what you are saying, but too often this world simply tears us down, and we need to know that what “they” say does not define us. So, we pour into our children, we remind them of God’s love and definitions, and we try to counter act what “they” say. I haven’t seen the graphic, and while I get where you are coming from, I get what it is saying as well.
That is much better, Stacey! Self-respect totally works for me. I agree that the world can be cruel and can tear us apart. I had not thought of that at all. Thank you!!!! See??? That is why I put this up here… because I knew someone could help me see what was so beautiful about this picture!!!
I think it is important to remember that God’s love and love of self are not the same thing, no matter what we call them. I think Katho is on the right track in thinking the problem here is pride, sinful pride. To know oneself to be loved by God and by others and to be grateful for that love and to feel valuable because of it and because of the other gifts we were given by God is not the same as self aggrandizing, which is what seems to be encouraged in many children and young adults in the name of self-esteem. Self-esteem that isn’t tempered by humility is unhealthy and contributes nothing to the greater good.
I get what you are saying. I love the graphic though. I see the self-esteem as the knowing that failure will happen, and must happen, but that we are not defined by it and what the world thinks of our successes and failures. That our high self-esteem comes from knowing that no matter what we matter and can get up and accomplish any thing that we truly set our mind to (not like my dream to play Olympic field hockey because I wasn’t truly willing to put into it what needed to in order to make it happen). That’s how I see the self-esteem. I totally understand your statement about some people having too much self-esteem but I see that as arrogance not self-esteem.
I think you should try to look at it from the perspective of someone who has no self esteem. I struggle with that daily. I know that I am valued and that I am a smart woman with plenty to offer. This knowledge does not stop me from looking in the mirror and hating what I see. Or from being overly sensitive and convinced that people generally don’t like me or want to be around me. I spent years being bullied and made fun of. I had parents who neglected me. It is so hard to overcome those feelings of worthlessness no matter how hard I try. I would give anything to be able to feel better about myself without having to make a conscious effort to do so. I think it is very important for parents to do their absolute best to instill self esteem in their children. Kids are subjected to so much hatred it’s hard for them to grow up feeling good about themselves. At least if their parents are building them up, they will stand a chance of coming through it unscathed with an ability to build up others. I agree with Kim. People who think too highly of themselves are arrogant and there is a big difference.