things in facebook can really stir things up in real life…

before, during and after the last presidential election, i had many moments where i seriously debated ‘unfriending’ people because their political beliefs were so polar opposite of mine. i held strong to NOT doing this for as long as i could. i am not one to break friendships over politics.  eventually, though, i had to end a friendship. that individual’s comments became too personal… too hurtful… too inflamatory. so he was gone.  and when that happened, it occurred to me that before facebook, i would probably not have had to deal with this situation.

first of all, this ‘friend’ was really just an acquaintance from college. he was someone that i was always chatting with… friendly, but no real depth. i did not even know his major, and he graduated two years before me.  b.f. (before facebook) he and i simply lost touch. there was no correspondence. had we run into each other at homecoming, i am sure it would have been friendly but brief….probably not even memorable.

a.f. (after facebook) we became re-aquainted. we exchanged pleasantries and started a new friendship. at times, we actually agreed on issues, especially as it applied to education and my job. this early ‘friendship’ quickly soured, though.  because i am one to NOT hide my feelings, my thoughts on the election were right there on my page. i had ‘hope’ and ‘yes we can’ and ‘obama’ all over. as a very conservative individual, he had the extreme opposite set of political beliefs.  at first, we debated. other ‘friends’ would join in for both sides. but that turned sour, and we are no longer ‘friends’ or even acquaintances. and honestly, i hope to never ‘run into him’ at homecoming. it would be awkward, at best.

all of this happened a while ago, but a new situation has arisen that has made me think about this all over again.

a friend of mine posted a link on her wall a few days ago. it was from msnbc, and it was about an archaic segregation law that still has some residual evidence in the policies of a high school in the south. i had seen the article on other websites and news pages. i thought it was good that someone finally picked up on it, so that the children in that district will (hopefully) not be subjected to such a ridiculous set of rules.

one of the comments that my friend got about her article was down right rude. it attacked her intelligence simply because the article was from msnbc. he wrote quite vehemently that msnbc was guilty of lying about conservatives and then only retracting in the wee hours of the morning. then the writer suggested, quite hurtfully, that she move away from our suburb of oakmont into one of the areas of pittsburgh that are primarily black. um… huh? what on earth does that have to do with the article? children in that southern school district can not be class president if they are black. yeah… i know. but instead of addressing that, he belittled the whole article (and my friend!) because of its source.

not only did he miss the point completely, but he attacked her personally. this is something that would never have happened b.f. the writer is not even a true ‘friend’ of my friend… but rather the father of a friend. b.f., there would never have even been a conversation between the two, and there would have been no hurt feelings.

unfortunately, a.f., this all came to an ugly head wherein my friend ‘unfriended’ the offending writer. she still feels quite badly about the situation, and i cannot blame her. it also still bothers me a great deal, because that writer is someone i happen to care about. but i am now seeing a side of him that upsets me. how could he be so cruel and close-minded?

ok, i don’t know how clear my thoughts on this are, but my point is this…

b.f. life was simpler. we did not become enraged and/or offended by people we barely knew on a daily basis. a.f. we find ourselves thrust into daily conversations with people that may or may not actually influence our lives. there is a lack of boundaries that makes harshness and rudeness ‘normal.’

think of it this way… i would never walk up to someone i knew only vaguely and scream, “I voted for Obama!” however, i have that posted on my fb page. i have many ‘friends’ on fb who i barely know… but if they visit my wall, that message IS thrust in their faces.

so what do we do about this? i, for one, have become much more careful about the ‘friends’ i choose. i go through every once in a while and ‘weed out’ the friends that i never hear from, and that don’t seem to care if they hear from me.

also, i have stated numerous times that meanness will not be tolerated on my page. you don’t like my politics? no worries… but my page is not the place to blast me. it is MY page and i WILL delete such comments.

and, i might just give you the boot!